BMWs Suck

[octothorpe]

Back in the long, long ago; in the before time, I had a black BMW 325e, dubbed "The Goth Mobile" by my mates at the time. I'm sure you can probably suss out the approximate years of ownership ;-). I loved that car. It had great handling, good HP/torque, and a sunroof (novel at the time). It also had an amazing little trip computer that showed me my average speed, and MPG. It also warned me if the temps went below 36°F, as well when I went above a driver-set speed limit. I loved that car, until things went wrong.

BMW doesn't seem to make anything with a standard part. Even their emergency jacks are proprietary, and woefully difficult to use. They also have horrible electrical systems. That lovely ahead-of-its time trip computer? Yeah, if you didn't drive the car for a couple of weeks, you had a 50/50 chance of the battery being dead when you went to start it up. They're also *awful* in the snow. Germany has snow! How can they fuck this up?!

Fast forward to today. Bill's aging-but-very-low-milage (well under 30k) white BMW 328i convertible can't keep a battery for more than a year without needing to be replaced. Because of this, he doesn't drive it often. He purchased a trickle charger, but that doesn't seem to help too much. Sometimes the car will start, other times, not so much. Consequently, the air pressure in his tyres is low. I thought, OK, well, I'll jack up the car (I've got a shop jack that makes this super easy), remove the tyre, then get it filled at the station about a mile away — except that I can't get the damned wheel off the axle. Yes, I've removed the bolts ;-) It's been on there so long, the wheel is seised to the axle. I don't want to put WD40 on it, as that's a bad idea for MANY reasons (near the brakes, bolt threads, etc). Fuck it. We'll drive it to the station with low air pressure and hope for the best.

Grrr.

More later.

Comments

[danthered.livejournal.com]

I won't comment on BMWs specifically except to say some of them have particularly good headlamps and puzzlingly halfassed rear lighting systems. However:

1. WD40, despite the hype on the can, is an utterly lousy penetrant. Worse even than ineffective Liquid Wrench. WD40's only real use is as a Water Displacer, and it's not even particularly good at that. The penetrant to have on hand is Kroil. Yes, it is a nuisance to purchase because you have to order it. Yes, it's worth the hassle.
   
   
2. Diet Coke makes an excellent, very cost-effective corrosion-eating fluid when you mustn't risk oiling down the brakes. It's the phosphoric acid in the diet Coke that does the trick, and it can be easily flushed away without contaminating brake linings.

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

Good to know!

It's doubly difficult to apply the penetrant (lulz… penetrant) to the surface that needs it, as the rim is in the way on one side, and the disc is in the way on the other.

[weekilter.livejournal.com]

Why diet coke as opposed to the fully leaded variety?

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

This happens to any car that has aluminium (there, I spelled it your way :D) wheels. The fix? Loosen each bolt/nut two turns while the car is still on the ground. Inch the car forward and/or backward slightly, then tap the brake. You've broken the tenacious bond between the corroded alloy and the rusted steel of the hubs. Now jack the car up and remove the wheel normally. To prevent corrosion, use a very sparing amount of disc brake caliper grease on the mating surface of the wheel hub.

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

I thought about this, I didn't do it, as I didn't want to potentially fuck anything up as it's not my car, and the wheels are held on by bolts, rather than nuts. I was a little nervous that it would produce too much stress on the bolts, and I'd wind up in a bigger, more annoying mess.

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

Nope, works just as well with bolts as opposed to studs with nuts. ;)

When I have to work on anything that has alloy wheels and I know they've been in place for a long time, this is SOP. All that is needed is about a millimeter of free play and the problem is solved.

[ptownnyc.livejournal.com]

Our Audi got a flat, on a 17 degree day, miles from home, near sunset. Same scenario - jacked up, bolts off, wheel corroded onto axle. Per Audi 800 number, I was to POUND the wheel with a hammer. Had one - pounded, cheap ass Audi awful jack COLLAPSED and bent, stuck under car. Had to call for assistance. Two hours later, guy shows up, and lets us know that this is par for the course with Audi.

Now, I love that car dearly, and this is the only problem we've had. But again, a major lapse of German engineering.

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, don't even get me started on Audis.

::sigh::

[dan4behr.livejournal.com]

*sigh*

I always wanted an Audi. I'd love an A3 TDi. The only German car I've had was a VW Jetta (diesel) and it was a POS, mainly due to electrical gremlins. So, I guess my hope that the Jetta was an anamoly might not be all that smart.

I have a Mazda, which I guess is about as close to 'German' in character as Japanese-produced gets these days. No seized wheels, but I can tell you, Mazda alloys bend easy on potholes :/

[weekilter.livejournal.com]

I don't know too many vehicles with alumin(i)um wheels that won't get buggered up from introductions to potholes.

[weekilter.livejournal.com]

What was the year of the Bimmer that you had?

[cpj.livejournal.com]

I thought the Germans had this reputation for nothing less than perfection.

[ricksf.livejournal.com]

Ah, memories. Owned two BMWs both bought new, a 77 320i and a 95 M3. Electrical gremlins, constant annoying mechanical woes, indifferent, insulting dealer service. But damn that M3 drove nice.

I'd never buy another

[maxauburn.livejournal.com]

Let us know how this progresses, okay?

[wescobear.livejournal.com]

I thought the Germans had this reputation for nothing less than perfection.

BWAHaaaaaa!

The battery on my BMW R1200c is under the fuel tank, no doubt to help with the center of gravity. So how do you service the battery? According to the manual, first drain the fuel tank, remove the tank, etc.. And this bike was built in 2001 with a conventional (non-gel) battery as standard.

[urbear]

As you might have already read, I acquired a 2011 BMW 328i sedan yesterday. I found one particular feature out of many strongly enticing... the 4-year maintenance plan. Things may go wrong but at least I'm not going to be paying for them, and since it's a three year lease I'm not going to need to worry about what happens after the warranty expires.

For the moment, at least, I'm in love with my car (cf. Roger Taylor, Freddy Mercury et al). We'll see if that lasts.